The Myplace Playbook // 084

Hey Everyone,

I was talking with a couple a few weeks ago who are pretty new to the area. They moved here from the Lower Mainland for work with EVR, and they love it. The kids are in hockey, they met a couple of NHL players at WFP over the summer, and the family is settling into a routine. It’s starting to feel like home.

But it’s missing Mom and Dad. Otherwise known as Gramma and Grandpa.

Before the move, the kids saw them at least twice a week. Now they’re a day’s travel away. They knew that would be part of moving, but knowing it and living it are two different things. It’s been harder than they expected.

They bought in the spring and have only recently moved in, but they’re already considering what selling and buying something else might look like. Not because they want to leave. They’re wondering whether there could be a place here that accommodates everyone, if their parents wanted to make the move too.

That got me thinking about how much we talk about generational wealth, and how little we talk about generational housing.

Usually, the conversation is about what parents might leave their kids someday, or how much they can give them toward a down payment now. Those are worthwhile conversations. But there’s another question worth asking: could a home work better for both generations if they planned it together?

I’m not talking about putting Gramma in the spare bedroom and hoping everybody gets along. I’m talking about a place chosen for this purpose. Maybe there’s a suitable separate suite, with its own kitchen and entrance. Enough space to have dinner together when you want to, and enough privacy that nobody needs to explain why they don’t want to tonight.

You can love your family very much and still want your own thermostat.

For some families, there may be a financial opportunity here too. Parents might have equity in a home that’s become more house than they need. Their adult kids might have steady incomes but be struggling to get a down payment together. Combining what each can comfortably contribute, and sharing some of the ongoing costs, may make ownership more attainable than trying to maintain two entirely separate households. The lender still has to approve the financing, and everybody’s budget has to work.

But the part that started this conversation wasn’t a mortgage payment. It was the kids missing their grandparents. Being close enough for an ordinary Tuesday dinner, or for Grandpa to watch a hockey practice, is different from trying to fit everything into a visit a few times a year.

Of course, there are things to sort out before anyone starts forwarding listings. Selling shortly after buying has costs, and a mortgage penalty may be one of them. A bigger property isn’t automatically a better financial deal. The parents’ retirement still needs to work, and their move shouldn’t come with an unspoken agreement to become full-time childcare.

Then there’s the arrangement itself: who owns what, who pays for what, and what happens if someone wants to move or needs more care later? Those conversations need proper legal advice and a written agreement. Being family doesn’t remove the responsibility either; anyone signing as a joint borrower is responsible for the mortgage, not just the portion the family privately agrees they’ll pay.

That might sound like a lot to work through. It is worth working through. The whole point is to make family life better, and that starts with everyone being comfortable saying what they need.

For this couple, it may turn out that moving again so soon doesn’t make sense. Or it may be worth exploring. I wouldn’t tell them to put a sign on the lawn without looking at the full picture, but I wouldn’t dismiss the idea just because they only bought this spring either.

If you’ve been having a version of this conversation in your family, hit reply. Tell me who would be involved and what you’re picturing. I can help you look at the mortgage side and see whether it’s worth taking further.

The goal doesn’t have to be a bigger house. For this family, it’s being able to say, “Come over for dinner,” without anyone having to pack a suitcase.

-Andrew